Of How Much Value Essays - Prison Break The Final Break

Of How Much Value Younger September 21, 2000 English (Sec.7) Of How Much Value Sara stares at the clock and counts each second that goes by. Every minute means on more minute of grief. She is not sure why she feels so down. She cannot understand why her own image of herself is so unattractive. Sara suffers from depression. Depression is a disease that causes a chemical imbalance in the brain resulting in a melancholy mood. This disease is a very young disease. It has only recently become known as a disease. These are all the things that had to be explained to Sara during her visit to the doctor, or in other words, a psychiatrist. She had been lacking a positive self-concept for years and has now decided that it is time to take care of it. Sara feels much anxiety and the fact that she is going to a psychiatrist at the age of seventeen makes her feel even more stressed out. She is very nervous long before it is time for her to attend the doctors office. Saras visit is successful. She leaves the office with a new vision of her life. Sara keeps a journal of each days events. She tells about what happened and then how she responded to it. She also writes little poems that describe her moods. She only shares six of her journal entries out of thousands. Each one is personal to her, but she is willing to share six because they could help others understand themselves better. Today was just another dull day. David, the guy who I really like, Would not even look at me. I really do not understand why I am on this earth at all. My existence means nothing to anyone. None of my friends value our friendship nearly as much as I do. What is my purpose? Where do I belong? Sara is on the downside of her disease. She is in the depths of it. She looks upon the world as though she is not apart of it. She watches events and people evolve around her but never becomes the nucleus. Sara does not know herself. In her mind, she is an unidentifiable person. Sara once said, I have no trust left in me. Some would take that comment for what it is worth, but Sara means for it to go much deeper then just the words. So, so you think you can tell Heaven from hell Blue Skies from pain Can you tell a green field From a cold steel rail A smile from a veil Do you think you can tell Did they get you trade Your heroes for ghosts Hot ashes for trees Hot air for a cool breeze Cold comfort for change Did you exchange A walk on part in the war For a lead role in a cage How I wish, how I wish you were here Were just two lost souls Swimming in a fish bowl Year after year Running over the same old ground How we found the same old fears Wish you were here -Pink Floyd- Sara has had a tendency to write this song on everything she obtains, from her paper back books to a napkin in a restaurant. The song constantly sticks in her mind reminding her of her dreaded state of mind. To whom it may concern: Why must I live? Why must I be here? Take me away To a place of reverence I want to be happy I want to be free I want not to feel dread I want to feel calm I want the weather to be warm and comforting I want to not be bundled up as I am in my own mind and body Warmth shall set me free Light shall heal my wounds This dark only opens each wound further Take me away to delight. Saras depression usually takes itself to a worse state when it is wintertime. When she does not receive proper light from the sun her disease affects her more. I have found myself in my own little world I feel as though I am another soul I have been taken aback from the evil spirit It lifts me to a new horizon I shall fly high to the bright, open skies I am free to begin a new life. Sara took herself to a doctor and was prescribed medicine that was to take away all her horrible feelings. She would look at her life in a